The BobbyRica Guide For Inviting Guests

By BobbyRica | February 25, 2011

beach-party

After so many years throwing countless mixers in the US and Costa Rica, I have developed a winning formula in selecting which person to invite. It takes a certain skill to assemble the right people for a successful shindig. You have to strike a balance on the number of personalities mingling on the floor. The sooner you realize that getting the right people is key, the sooner you can control situations before they start.

So here are the rules to follow:

1. Don’t invite people you don’t know. Strangers are a complete liability. They might turn out to be serial killers or worse, Born Again Christians.

BeachParty

2. Invite lots of good-looking girls. Special points to girls who look so beautiful they’re unattainable. Virgins get you another extra points. Hot Latinas gets you even more! Think a ratio of four (4) babes for every guy. A sausage fest will only inspire trouble. They trash your place, pick a fight or worse, get laid before you.

3. Invite people you know who can hold their liquor. There’s nothing more pathetic than seeing a guest so hammered, he spews his own mini-beer fountain behind the meat rack.

4. Create a good mix of friends who know other guests, and those you only know. Invite groups of friends who know each other. But match that with those who belong to different sets of friends. Variety is key. Inviting the same old group people can get boring, especially if they’re all insufferable jackasses.

5. Invite a majority of Liberals and Democrats. They’re better party people. And for an even fun evening, get one Republican for everyone to pick on.

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6. Match the number of sociable geeks (I mean those with actual face-to-face social skills) with “pretty but dumb blonde” types. Geeks can be your filler. Incidentally, you don’t have to be blonde to be a “pretty but dumb blonde” type.

7. If you’re fortunate enough to have flaky yet attractive artist friends, then by all means, invite them. A party can be fun with a couple of guests who’re all one fries less of a Happy Meal. But as corollary to items we already discussed, make sure they aren’t dense attention-whores who only want to disrupt the party. Crazy can be fun. But crazy also means crazy.

8. Don’t make the error of having more than one “life of the party” person. If you don’t consider yourself the life of the party, then find someone who is. However, don’t pit two veritable party animals against each other. It only inspires uncomfortable competition and upsmanship. This is a party, not a reality show.

9. Avoid negative whiny people. A party is for people to inspire fun and merrymaking. You put money, time and effort on it. So if you encounter moody people sulking or making a complete ass of himself (but in a bad way), stop him before he infects other. Hand him a gift basket and then kick him the hell out.

10. One last important thing. Don’t bring in friends’ exes! Unless of course if the ex-couple split up amicably. Exes fighting in a social gathering can be a spectator sport. But they can get really ugly FAST. Again, always remember good vibes is what you want to spread around.

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Be classy with your choices. Pick people who can mingle around people other than their acquaintances. Choose people intelligent and spontaneous enough who can relate to or even challenge other guests. If you are unsure about inviting a certain person, then he’s better off not invited. Even if he’s your brother.

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