The Beach Party Trail (Conclusion)

By BobbyRica | April 25, 2011

jungle

What could have been a two hour pleasure trip has turned into a four hour excursion into terror! And it’s in the form of a nine inch slithering mass of reptilian menace. Or a snake of unknown genus.

The excitement (or shock, whatever way you see it) of watching a panther stalking you in the jungle took me by surprise that I had forgotten the snake that I was holding. That’s the first time that happened to me. I didn’t know my nervous reaction to a stressful situation would keep me all wound up.

I looked at my friends in front me. The city slicker John was driving, speeding away from the feline predator we left miles away. Eben, on the other hand, was covering his crotch with his hands, and from how his lips were moving, is silently saying a prayer. The two men didn’t realize that we have another passenger on the truck.

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I tried catching the snake, but it sneaked in between the narrow crevice of the front seats with no way for me to reach it. I knew I had to tell them.

“Guys, don’t freak out” I stammered as I looked like a madman trying to find the snake in the car floor,” there’s a snake in the –“.

I didn’t even finish the sentence when Eben shrieked as he found his tormentor back to terrorize him. It had wound itself up on his leg underneath his trousers. John got startled and stepped on the brakes. The truck screeched to a stop and Eben ran out, shaking his leg like a crazy person. Instead of the jungle, we were now in grassland. We were beginning to smell the salt of the sea.

The other truck where Akasha had been driving halted a few meters away. The look of puzzlement and annoyance painted on his face. “What the hell happened now?”

The snake had let go of the Eben’s feet and slithered away harmlessly towards the grass. We all watched it silently, not moving an inch. So big a trouble for such a small creature. We were pathetic.

Little animals

“We really need to be a little more careful,” said Akasha.

“I’m sorry guys,”I said sheepishly, “one thing led to another and I didn’t realize I was still holding the damn snake.” Eben gave me dagger looks.

“So where are we headed now?” asked John, a bit amused.

“Where else should we go but to the nearest clinic,” exclaimed an exasperated Eben. “I need to know if my pecker will survive the trip! Why does this have to happen to me?”

“Hey, Eben. Through thick or thin. we’ll be there for you, ” I patted the big guy’s back as he walked towards the truck, still cupping his nads. “Let’s get your thing looked at before we do anything else, okay?”

All of us went back to our own trucks. The trip to Jaco was uneventful after that. But upon going to the clinic, we found out that the it was closed. It was a holiday after all. We ended up looking for a veterinarian who was Ben’s pet’s doctor. Lucky for us, she didn’t go out of town. We found her in her apartment, tending to her goldfish.

Despite her protests, she looked at Eben’s “injury” and told us the snake only bit on the flesh. There were only small puncture marks in the skin. There was no blood. It apparently wasn’t poisonous because if it were, the surrounding skin should be black and blue by now. She told Eben to go to the toilet and clean the wound and dress it with the bandages she gave him.

Soon after, we were too bushed to do anything else. We went back to our trucks and slept the remaining day away.

jaco

We tried making up for what we lost in the evening, but we only ended up too drunk to do anything else. In the end, we drove back home come sunrise with lowered spirits and slept the whole Semana Santa off. So much for tradition. And yeah, we’re a bunch of pussies.

But that will change this year!

Now that we’ve gotten over the stupidity of last year’s trip, we decided to do over the tradition. We will still hit the beach party trail. We now know better. We will be bringing pee bottles along for the trip. No more piss breaks this time. Because we’re going straight to Jaco with or without filled bladders! We also check if are no snakes in the car. Eben will make sure of that

THE END

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