Beam Up to Costa Rica! (Part one)

By BobbyRica | May 3, 2011

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BobbyRica here! If you read this story (and the stories after this), be forewarned that you might feel a bit disoriented. The stories are designed to entertain you. We are working hard to make you stay tuned and read my BobbyRica adventures. While the entries may sound too good to be true, the facts used about Costa Rica are well researched and accurate. Let’s just say we’re shaking things up so you can appreciate Costa Rica even more. This doesn’t mean however that my home country requires lots of imagination. Costa Rica, once you visit, will definitely capture yours and so much more!

Captain’s Log – Stardate – anyone got a calendar? Okay then Stardate 3456.7. While delivering medical supplies to a Federation outpost near the Neutral Zone, the Centerprize was sucked into a wormhole that somehow brought us back to Earth’s past – a barbaric period of man’s history.

It was a time where dictators ruled, religious fanatics were in power, people talked in strange tongues, pollution was everywhere, and machines dictated human behavior. Now that we’ve established that this is the year 2011, we have yet to determine just exactly where we are.

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“Coordinates, Mr. Hulu?” I told my chief helmsman. (Note: due to copyright laws, we can’t use the real names of Star Trek characters. However, we can still make a fast buck by slightly changing their names. Any idiot who reads this knows we’re still talking about Star Trek!)

“None, Captain Smirk. I’m getting no readings whatsoever,” he answered.

“Perhaps if you spent more time understanding that thing than just looking at it, you would get something,” I blurted out.

“Perhaps if the captain spent more time knowing how to avoid wormholes than looking at Buhura’s legs, we wouldn’t be in this mess!” Hulu answered.

Rights Managed

For once, my helmsman was right. I realized that the only way to avoid getting punched in the nose by Hulu was to organize a landing party to explore the planet’s surface. Accompanying me were science officer Mr. Schlock and chief medical officer Dr. McHoy.

“Energize!” I told engineer Spotty. In a few seconds, the three of us were transported down to Earth. But in what time were we? As I examined my surroundings, I had an uneasy feeling. I couldn’t really describe the feeling but it felt as if my foot was in my mouth.

“Captain remind me to make some adjustments on the transporter when we return. It seems your unit has malfunctioned and has reassembled you in a strange way.”

“How strange?” I asked.
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“Well. let’s just say that your foot is in your mouth and you’re walking with your hands,” Schlock replied.

Luckily, McHoy was around to get me back into shape.

“Readings, Mr. Schlock?” I asked.

“Tricorder readings indicate that this is a very progressive region. It has many protected national parks and protected areas that serve as the home of a wide variety of plants and animals. Its prime industries include pharmaceuticals, software development and ecotourism. This place is also famous for its gourmet coffee beans which happen to be its third cash crop export. There is a high degree of education among residents, making it attractive to investors and tourists alike. Because of this, it is the most visited nation in the Central American region with millions of foreign visitors yearly,” Schlock said.

“So where the hell are we?” I said.

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“Welcome to Costa Rica, boys!” a man greeted us. “Permit me to introduce myself. I’m Bobby, your host and guide. I’m sure you have a lot of questions about this interesting place and I’d be more than happy to answer them,” Bobby said.

“It is beautiful,” I told him. As I surveyed the area, I knew this was the perfect spot for the tired crew members of the Centerprize to take a little shore leave. It was something I never thought I’d find in all my years of space travel – a touch of paradise on Earth. Costa Rica here we come!

(to be continued)

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