An Encounter with Dr. Weevil

By BobbyRica | May 13, 2011


Deep in the heart of Costa Rica lies an unspeakable evil. An evil so great that people can only whisper its fearsome name in the dead of night. An evil so powerful that it controls many sectors of society and enslaves people from all walks of life.

It is an evil that has existed since the dawn of time and one that the hapless citizens of Costa Rica cannot stop. This evil lives only to pillage, steal and plunder the wealth of Costa Rica. Its sole purpose is to get money at all costs regardless of the consequences. I’m referring, of course, to the local tax collectors but since we’re doing a parody of Austin Powers today, we might as well go to our main story and talk about taxes some other time.


My name is Bobby and I clearly remember the day I first chanced upon the sinister lair of Dr. Weevil. I could never forget that day since my pet rock had disappeared and I was very depressed. Marvin my pet rock was one of a kind, He was kind, caring and compassionate. He knew my weaknesses but accepted me for what I am.

The night before, we had an argument and Marvin didn’t speak to me again. He vanished the following morning and my whole world collapsed. I was stunned. How could my pet rock leave? To me, Marvin was everything so I set out to find him. That day will always be special to me and one that I will never forget. It was on the second day of the fourth week of the sixth month. Or was it the fourth day of the sixth week of the second month? Anyway, it was a hot day and I decided to go scuba diving on Cocos Island in hopes of finding Marvin.


Cocos Island is one of the national parks of Costa Rica known for its rich marine life. Its deep waters are teeming with Hammerhead sharks, dolphins and other large marine species. For this reason, it was named a World Heritage Site by UNESCO and is one of the 10 best scuba diving spots in the world. The island itself is uninhabited except for two stations maintained by Costa Rican Park Rangers. Numbering about 33, these rangers protect the island from illegal fishing and poaching. Visitors are allowed but campers are not.

Fortunately, the rangers didn’t catch me when I set foot on Cocos Island to find Marvin. I didn’t realize I was going to discover something else. While exploring the island, I found a hidden cave that the rangers must have overlooked. In the cave was a thick steel door with a sign that read, “Ring the doorbell once for service.” Thinking that McDonald’s had opened a new branch here, I didn’t hesitate to push the doorbell. After all, I could use a good cheeseburger. The door slowly opened and I was surprised to find a wide-eyed bald man in a gray suit staring at me. He had a scar on his face and he chewed on his pinky.


“Welcome to my lair. I am Dr. Weevil and you are now my prisoner,” he said. “I will hold you hostage for one billion gajillion fifillion mamillion dollars.”

His laugh was infectious and I joined him for a while. Later I realized it was dark and I got scared – very scared. Considering my status as an overworked and underpaid employee living off my ex-girlfriend’s insurance, where the hell will I get that money?

(To be continued)

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