Encounter with Dr. Weevil (Conclusion)

By BobbyRica | May 16, 2011

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While scuba-diving in Cocos Island, I accidentally discovered the secret hideout of the evil Dr. Weevil, the arch enemy of Justin Flowers, the famous British spy and international man of mystery. Weevil was the supreme personification of evil. He wore a gray suit, had an ugly scar of his face and deep blue eyes that pierced your soul. He carried a strange hairless cat called Mr. Snigglesworth and was accompanied by his evil clone – a midget who looked exactly like him and answered to the name of Mini He. Somehow Dr. Weevil reminded me of my mother-in-law but that’s another story.

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“I see you have been trespassing and the penalty is death by decapitation. You will be lowered in a pool filled with sharks with laser beams attached to their heads,” he told me.

Fortunately, his assistant, Number Who, reminded him that sharks were an endangered species and couldn’t be used to fulfill his evil desires. It was a thought that disturbed him.

“Silence! I will not tolerate your insolence,” he shouted at Number Who. “What is this world coming to anyway if you can’t have frickin’ sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their frickin’ heads?” He then turned to me and said, “So tell me – who are you and what is your business here?”

I introduced myself and told him I was looking for my pet rock Marvin. I explained to him that good rocks were hard to find and Marvin was one in a million. He touched my life and made me realize how lonely the world can be without him. I told Dr. Weevil that if he would let me go, I would never reveal his whereabouts and continue my search for Marvin.

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“Yours is a sad story, Bobby,” Dr. Weevil told me, a tear rolling down his eye. “It reminds me of the day my testicles were shaved in the pursuit of higher knowledge. You should try it sometimes. There is nothing like a shaved scrotum on a hot summer day.”

I told him that was cool but it was not my bag. Besides, what would Marvin say? I was about to change the subject when a figure caught my eye. He wore a pair of silly spectacles, a crushed velvet suit and Beatles boots. But what stood out was his bad teeth.

“My god! You’re…” I gasped.

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“Yeah, baby, Justin Flowers at your service. I hope my brother hasn’t rattled you. Duckie, where are your manners? Is this anyway to treat a guest?”

“I was just having a little fun. Hope I didn’t scare you Bobby,” Dr. Weevil chuckled.

“Of course not,” I answered, wondering if they had noticed that I had peed in my pants.

“So what brings you here? Looking for someone to shag?” Flowers asked.

Weevil told Flowers of my predicament. He seemed concerned but told me rocks weren’t his bag. Flowers assured me that Marvin would return someday.

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“Rocks can be difficult to understand. They’re cold, hard and stubborn. But if you love someone, set him free. If he returns, then it was meant to be. Whatever the outcome, life goes on, baby. Just be yourself and you’ll find that the world is a groovy place, especially here in Costa Rica” Flowers said.

I knew he was right so I stayed for dinner. We had mutated sea bass with champagne. That was the start of my new life and the end of this story.

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