Here Comes The Bride

By BobbyRica | June 25, 2012


I never felt so much peace. I guess whatever it was that my soon-to-be ex-driver and chauffeur spiked on that coffee had left me sleeping like a baby. The confusion that was simmering inside my head somehow was placed at the backburners. I was left with a quiet buzz that was almost comforting. It was a deep peaceful slumber that you only notice the minute you wake up.


I didn’t realize how much time had passed but when I woke up, I remembered opening my eyes to the glare of the sun and the heady smell of seawater. I felt a rocking. It wasn’t as rhythmic but enough to make you feel disoriented at first. I may be at the Marina in Los Suenos, was the first thing that popped into my head.

“Ah, our sweet prince is finally awake”, says a familiar raspy voice from the distance. I recognized the voice instantly. It was Philippa. But no longer with a Sicilian accent. I was supposed to bark back a reply, but my mouth was so dry, I only managed a groan. The dryness in my mouth had somehow reached my throat. I badly needed a mojito.

I lay down on the hard floor and tried to stand up but couldn’t. My hands and feet were bound. The glare of the sun gave me limited vision, but at the corner of my eye I can see three figures. By the looks of things, they were all girls. Two fully grown ones with a kid in tow. I was still thinking of that cool glass of mojito.


I licked my lips with the small amount of saliva I had mustered to salivate in. “What do you want with me?,” I uttered each word carefully, as if they didn’t understand English. “I want to see my driver. Is she with you?”

The girls only laughed. Then the kid who was with them approached me and started caressing my forehead. Her clammy hands cooled my brow somewhat.

“Hellooo, Bobby!” the girl cooed in an uncharacterically low North Dakotan accent, “Remember me?” Then she started to pull me with one hand. I thought she was planning to throw me out of the boat. For a girl, she sure was strong. With one hand, she managed to pull me down of direct sunlight and down to the shade of the boat.

“I don’t think Bobby remembers you, Cora.” said Philippa. “I think you need to refresh his memory.”

“Note to self, never trust young aspiring Meryl Streep-wannabe actresses.” I thought.

The girl looked a bit odd. She seemed to muscular for her height and stature. And no minor will ever be caught with that much makeup!


“Welcome to the South Pacific. We are heading to romantic Tahiti for our honeymoon!” The girl called Cora continued to coo at me like we’re a couple.

My eyes widened in surprise. Tahiti? My mind was reeling. Honeymoon? This girl is nuts. Who is this poor demented soul?

“But before that, we should hold a little ceremony. The priest will be coming in shortly via helicopter. Before the day is over, the priest will make us husband and wife.” The girl didn’t even bat an eyelid. She was serious. The manic smile on the little girl’s face and made shudder. And upon closer scrutiny, she wasn’t just a girl. She’s one of the little people. And sorry to be politically incorrect, but one of my captors is a goddamn midget!

(to be continued)

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